Cooking with Your Child – A Lesson in Sainthood

Don’t you love those commercials where the mother and child are in the kitchen making cookies together? You imagine doing this with your child; so proud of how hard she tries to get everything just right.

You envision imparting words of wisdom to your child during this special time together; wisdom that will serve her well as she makes her way in the world. How wonderful. How precious.

Back on earth, you’ve finally set aside the time to bake a batch of brownies with your little bundle of joy.

“Okay honey, get the eggs out of the refrigerator and set them on the counter. No, the whole carton. Take out the whole carton. Put the egg back in the carton. Put it back. Pick up the whole carton. Both hands. Both hands!”

After hubby gets back from the store with another carton of eggs, you crack them into the bowl and then hand her the package of brownie mix.

“Okay, sweetheart, open the box and then tear open the bag carefully. Carefully. Here, let me do it. Okay fine, you do it, but do it carefully. If you do it like that it’s going to…here, let me do it. Just let me open it, you can pour it! Hand it to me. Hand it to me now.

Do you want to make brownies with mommy? So help me if you don’t hand that to me…what did I tell you? Now we can’t make brownies because the mix is all over the floor. Okay, calm down. Stop crying. I know you didn’t mean to. Go get daddy.

After hubby gets back from the store with another box of brownie mix, you and your little darling manage to get it mixed and into the oven.

Now is the time for that wisdom-imparting.

“Come here, sweetheart. It’s okay, they have to cook for a while.

Come here. Mommy wants to talk with you.

Don’t open the oven. If you keep opening the oven they won’t get done.

Fifteen more minutes. The timer will go off.

Yes, we’ll hear it. No, that wasn’t it.

Come here and talk to mommy.

Come here. Don’t open that. No, they’re not done.

Come here. I want to impart wisdom so come here now or nobody anywhere is getting any brownies ever again!”

Yes, there’s a moral to this story.

Don’t believe everything you see on television, and don’t try to plan when you will be handing down profound pearls of wisdom to your child. It will happen at the strangest and most magical times, and yes, your child will remember. And a few years down the road you’ll both be laughing about the brownies.