Making our kids eat all their food, even once they are full.
This is a critical mistake because children learn the wrong reasons to eat. We are to eat because we are hungry and when the feeling of fullness occurs, eating needs to stop. This bad habit (disguised as a good habit) can go with a child into adulthood. There is even a name for this habit (The Empty Plate Syndrome). Having feelings of guilt about leaving food on the plate has haunted many a person and some have passed this habit on to their family. Yes there are starving children in Africa, but let’s participate in some other way to help them. Let’s not stuff our selves on their behalf. Overeating helps no one.
Allowing others to feed your children off schedule or off the good food course.
Setting boundaries can be tough. Setting boundaries around the food and the time the food is eaten can be tough too, especially if the violator is a family member. My mother use to give my kids food anytime of day when I was not around. I had to take a deep breath and ask her to respect my schedule. I was young and cared about my mom’s feeling but the eating pattern I had for my children was even more important. These eating patterns have a tendency to continue into adulthood and can cause serious health problems. Moms make a critical mistake when we allow others to get us and/or our children off the healthy eating path. I know it’s not easy, because if it was, everybody would be doing it. Take a stand. Read this: “Stop Forcing my Daughter to Eat.”
Using food for comfort or emotional support for our children.
Most people who use food for comfort as adults can testify that this addiction started in childhood. Ask yourself why do you use food for comfort and make a conscious effort to teach your children to have a healthier relationship with food. Here is an article:
Diet: Comfort Food that can help you explore this topic.
Thinking what we do doesn’t matter.
Sometimes we can repeat do’s and don’ts and the reasons why so many times that we feel like our efforts aren’t doing any good. As a mom of three adults I can tell you, you words and actions do make a difference in the lives of our children. The results do not always manifest themselves until later. Once the child has been out in life on their own, they discover what you really meant and what you really mean to them.
Defining ourselves as a mom to the extent of forgetting about our other roles and relationships.
Being a mom has been the most challenging thing I have ever done and it consumed quite a chunk of my life; but even when my children were younger my husband I made a point to continue to have date nights and I continued to go out with friends and family and eventually I went back to school. It took me a long time to get comfortable doing non-mommy things but I continued to re-fuel myself and I could see and feel how refreshed the time for the other parts of me gave me more patience with my kids. Moms, take care of you – I mean all of you.
photo credit: Mr Michael Phams
